Our new socialist masters in Lambeth are a fairly motley bunch of consultants, the unemployed, and possibly the unemployable in one or two cases. None is quite so ambiguous as the Green Party member who is both a nurse and a member of the Voluntary Euthanasia Society.

For those who haven't had the pleasure of flicking through the Lambeth Labour Councillors declarations of interests forms let us introduce a few of the more exotic of the 'big beasts' of the Lambeth political jungle.

Clearly the most useful councillor in the event of an accident - there'll be plenty of those before May 2010 - is the councillor-doctor who is specialist registrar in A & E at a south London hospital in a neighbouring borough. But, we've also got a handful of m'learned friends in case the writs and judicial reviews start flying. If the council goes bankrupt under Labour control then they've got the services of a credit union worker from a West London borough, a couple of high powered PR people for the spin doctoring, as well as the head of risk and compliance at a City-based foreign bank.

Not that the Comrades need to worry about a lack of spin, having brought their election agent onto the council payroll to head up the Labour office. That's on a cool GB pounds 43,000 a year for us taxpayers to pay for out of our rates. They can also rely on one of their more experienced councillors who is a manager with the Royal Bank of Scotland, a retired civil servant from Essex County Council, and a lecturer at Lambeth College.

It's hard to see to what extent Old Labour is lurking in the Comrades' woodwork, but one member describes himself as belonging to the Labour Party Black Socialist Society, which must surely be an oxymoron. Most entertaining of all is the Cabinet Member for Community Safety, who in his spare time belongs to the Arthur Conan Doyle Society ('Elementary, my dear Chief Executive!') as well as the Arthur Sullivan Society. Remember what Conan Doyle did to his principal charter in the end, although he also went to my old school from which he was expelled for conducting black magic experiments in the swimming pool area.

When it comes to trade union membership the comrades go overwhelmingly for AMICUS - nine of them grace its ranks - while the GMB is second with four members, and a scattering of memberships of the NUJ, T&GWU, and even Equity. Labour boasts one actor in their ranks although she appears to be 'resting' and is not currently employed. She is best remembered by those irreverent press boys and girls at the South London Press for playing the skin flick actor Linda Lovelace in a biopic. As this blog is read by impressionable people, we will say no more about whether it was faked or done for real. Can anyone remind me, what was the nick name of the man who leaked the Watergate scandal to the Washington Post? I was working in Africa at the time.